The Red House: Almost A Memoir by Charmaine T. Davis

Genre:  Comedy

Format:  eBook

Buy:  The Red House: Almost A Memoir

Despite claims to the contrary, country living is not the carefree, uneventful existence it is often made out to be:

Country housing: “The Red House had roaches. Long, flat brown ones – with wings. We didn’t know they could fly until we were having supper one day.”

Country fashion: “If I stepped wide enough maybe the panty hose would stay up until I could get to the bathroom.”

Country entertainment: “Grab that skinny one in the corner. He oughta fly real good.”

Country relatives: “Watch yourself, boy! We still paying off your rabies shot.”

Country vacations: “You brought your own housing…and food and shampoo and towels and sheets.”

Country revivals: “We goan start promptly at seven o’clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions.”

Country shopping: “Don’t steal nothin and don’t sit on the toilet.”

Country dining at its best: “The day he mentioned stewed possum, Mama told him, “Don’t even think about puttin somethin that nasty in one of my pots. We may be broke but we ain’t that broke.”

Such is the revelation in The Red House: Almost A Memoir. Think rural life is nothing but hay fields and hayrides? Think again. As the main character’s daddy would say, “Ain’t no such stuff.”

Check it out for yourself!

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 Today, I’m excited to introduce you to Charmaine T. Davis and her book, The Red House: Almost A Memoir.  Thanks for joining us Charmaine!

1.  Tell us a little about The Red House: Almost A Memoir.

The Red House: Almost A Memoir is a family comedy taking place in the 1980s in the foothills of Virginia. The Douglases give up their modern house to live on the home place—a decrepit log cabin dressed in red tar paper. The house has no indoor plumbing, and trips to the spring for water and to the Johnny-house for relief, are a far cry from the central air and MTV other people in town enjoy. Gail, the ten-year old narrator, takes you back to her first year on the farm as a ten-year old girl. Flying chickens, run-ins with roaches, breakdowns in hooptys, crazy relatives and runaway mules are just some of the hilarious happenings in what is supposed to be a quiet life in the country.

2.  What inspired you to write this book?

I wrote the book when my husband out of sheer frustration, suggested it. After nineteen years, he was tired of hearing about the red house. That’s when I realized I needed a wider audience.

3.  Are there parts of the book at that are taken from your life or the life of someone you know?

The Red House is a mix of reality, fantasies, what-ifs and straight out lies stirred together to create a hilarious story celebrating countrified weirdness in America.

4.  What was your favorite part / chapter to write? Why?

The “Buddies” was the first chapter I wrote and I could barely get through a sentence without busting out in great guffaws and falling out of my chair. My husband, who shares an office with me, threatened to throw me out. “When My Daddy Goes to Church” is also a favorite of mine. But I have to say my all time favorite is “Big Top Madness” when Apostle Soothsayer and Brother Snooki head up a revival in Altavista, Virginia underneath a huge carnival tent. My favorite quote by Snooki is: “We goan start promptly at seven o’clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions.”

5.  What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

I like to read when I am not writing. Gardening is another favorite activity of mine. I don’t have the proverbial green thumb, but I’m an optimistic girl and just keep buying new plants to kill. I also like teaching my children life’s truths. I do it in easy, digestible snippets so they are more likely to remember—“put that on a tissue,” “don’t put your lips on that,” and “@#$%^8” ß an unknown tongue when English escapes me because they have made me so mad.

6.  What is the most challenging part of being an indie author?  The most rewarding?

The most challenging part of being an indie author for me is the marketing and branding; trying to define myself and transfer that identity to the reading public. An indie author is not unlike a small business person—you are everything—marketer, publicist, accountant, secretary, web builder…on top of doing the job of writing.

The most rewarding aspect of being an indie author is the freedom to be myself, be as open in my faith as I want to be and have the freedom to work as little or as much as I desire. I also like the idea that as a writer, I only have to answer to my readers.

7.  When did you first start writing?  Why?

I started writing as soon as I became hooked on the Nancy Drew series. I didn’t stop reading the books until I was pregnant with my fourth son (I know it’s sad—I told you I was hooked). Nancy Drew was the girl I wanted to be. Even as young as I was I had the good sense to know that nobody could be that perfect. Reading the books made me realize I could dream and create someone larger and better than life and I could do so through writing.

8.  Do you have anything else you would like to share with readers?

I have several new projects in the works this year and I can’t wait to make them available for your reading pleasure. They are two women’s fiction, a love story and a middle grade speculative. Although these books are not comedies; they do have some humorous elements.

Thank you, Karen, for being a most gracious hostess and may you sell many books this year. Blessings.

Charmaine T. Davis

Charmaine T. Davis often frustrated her siblings and other playmates by scripting out how they would play, be it with Little People, Barbie dolls and even chores, earning her a reputation of being bossy. Only later in life did she learn to curb her tendency to “organize” people by focusing on writing where she could control setting, tone, plot, and characters. Little did she know that story people don’t like to be bossed around either. The Red House characters refused to be a pawn in her hand, making this unique story delightfully unpredictable.

Charmaine makes her home in central Virginia with her husband, Mark, and their seven children — including one little girl who thinks she is the family dog.

Visit Charmaine at her website:  http://www.charmainetdavis.com, on Facebook, or on Twitter.


Dialogue: Common Mistakes Part 4

In this series on dialogue, I’ll cover several common mistakes that writers make in dialogue.  For a more thorough study on dialogue, I suggest picking up a copy of Gloria Kempton’s Write Great Fiction – Dialogue

In a previous post, I discussed the He Said, She Said Merry-go-round.

Today’s Topic:  Perfect English Syndrome

Okay.  Sometimes when you’re writing, do you hear your fourth grade English teacher’s voice in your head?  You know what you’re writing is not perfect.  Perhaps you cave to the voice and decide to remove all contractions from your dialogue.

WAIT!  Before you give into that voice, let’s look at the following example of the Perfect English Syndrome:

“I am serious.  You are going get hurt if you keep pursuing her,” Marcy said.

“I am not pursuing her.  I am just being friendly,” Kyle replied.

“I will bet.”

As she pulled to a stop behind his townhouse, she turned to face him.

“Please, listen.  Neither one of you is ready for the type of relationship you have in mind—”

“I do not have anything particular in mind.”

“You do.  It is written all over your face.  I am just saying that I think you have enough to deal with right now.  You are still going through a ton of physical therapy.  You are still grieving.  You still have to deal with what it means to have a role in your daughter’s life.  You are just getting familiar with a new job.  I think that is plenty for now, do not you?”

Gross.  No, really.  This is just gross.  Even though the conversation was written in 2011, it sounds like it is crossed between 1811 and 2011.  The lack of contractions feels very stiff and off putting.

Now, let’s look at a less-than-perfect-English, but much-better-flowing example:

“I’m serious.  You’re gonna get hurt if you keep pursuing her,” Marcy said.

“I’m not pursuing her.  I’m just being friendly,” Kyle replied

“I’ll bet.”

As she pulled to a stop behind his townhouse, she turned to face him.

“Please, listen.  Neither one of you is ready for the type of relationship you have in mind—”

“I don’t have anything particular in mind.”

“You do.  It’s written all over your face.  I’m just saying that I think you have enough to deal with right now.  You are still going through a ton of physical therapy.  You’re still grieving.  You still have to deal with what it means to have a role in your daughter’s life.  And you’re just getting familiar with a new job.  I think that’s plenty for now, don’t you?”

See contractions aren’t so bad, are they?  The second example flows much better.

I hope this has encouraged you to use less-than-perfect English in your dialogue.

How would you rewrite the example?  Please leave a comment below.

 

Karen BaneyBest-selling self-published author, Karen Baney, enjoys sharing information to help authors learn about the Business of Writing.  She holds a Masters of Business Administration from Arizona State University and has worked in various business related career fields for the past 20 years.  She writes Christian Historical Fiction and Contemporary Romance novels.  To learn more about her novels visit her website:  karenbaney.com.  Authors can find tips and information on self-publishing and marketing at:  www.myauthorservices.com.

Karen and her husband, Jim, also run several online businesses.  They make their home in Gilbert, AZ, with their two dogs.

Her latest book, 10 Keys to eBook Marketing Success, is now available on Amazon.

Connect with Karen on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Dialogue: Common Mistakes Part 3


In this series on dialogue, I’ll cover several common mistakes that writers make in dialogue.  For a more thorough study on dialogue, I suggest picking up a copy of Gloria Kempton’s Write Great Fiction – Dialogue
In a previous post, I discussed the Unspoken Interjections.

Today’s Topic:  He Said, She Said Merry-go-round

We’ve all seen it—dialogue that lacks luster because of a “he said, she said merry-go-round” issue.  Let’s take a look at the following example:

“Niki!  Get up!” Kyle exclaimed.

“What time is it?” Niki asked.

“It’s after seven,” he said.

“Shoot!” she exclaimed.  “Can you grab me a cup of coffee?”

He said, “Got it right here.  It’s the perfect shade of tan—just the way you like it.”

“Thanks.  You’re the best,” Niki said.

Oooo.  I totally cringed as I wrote this.  The thing that gets annoying to the reader is the over use of tags.  First, we don’t need the first “Niki asked” because Kyle already used her name.  Then, we don’t need each and every line of dialogue identified, especially when the conversation is bouncing between two people.  It may be necessary to tag the dialogue if the scene involves more people, but that is a judgment call for the author.

Here’s an example of the above dialogue cleaned up:

“Niki!  Get up!” Kyle exclaimed.

“What time is it?”

“It’s after seven.”

“Shoot! Can you grab me a cup of coffee?”

“Got it right here,” he said.  “It’s the perfect shade of tan—just the way you like it.”

“Thanks.  You’re the best.”

In this cleaner example, I removed several of the unnecessary tags.  It flows better, helps the pace move faster, and the reader can still keep up with who said what.   As a general rule, I don’t like to go more than a few volleys before adding a tag back in.  This helps the reader stay on track with who is speaking.  (As a reader, I’ve found that I get lost after two or three volleys.)

I hope this example helps you find more balance in your dialogue by getting off the “he said, she said” merry-go-round.

Would you write this example differently?  If so, please leave a comment.

In my next post, I’ll discuss the Perfect English Syndrome.

 

Karen BaneyBest-selling self-published author, Karen Baney, enjoys sharing information to help authors learn about the Business of Writing.  She holds a Masters of Business Administration from Arizona State University and has worked in various business related career fields for the past 20 years.  She writes Christian Historical Fiction and Contemporary Romance novels.  To learn more about her novels visit her website:  karenbaney.com.  Authors can find tips and information on self-publishing and marketing at:  www.myauthorservices.com.

Karen and her husband, Jim, also run several online businesses.  They make their home in Gilbert, AZ, with their two dogs.

Her latest book, 10 Keys to eBook Marketing Success, is now available on Amazon.

Connect with Karen on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.

Dialogue: Common Mistakes Part 2

In this series on dialogue, I’ll cover several common mistakes that writers make in dialogue.  For a more thorough study on dialogue, I suggest picking up a copy of Gloria Kempton’s Write Great Fiction – Dialogue.  In a previous post, I discussed the Overuse of Character Names.

Today’s Topic:  Unspoken Interjections

What?  Okay, I couldn’t think of a better way to describe interruptions in the dialogue with a character’s reaction.  Specifically, I’m talking about the misuse of “He smiled.”

I’ll admit, I’ve made this mistake a time or two (or more, especially in a first draft).  I’ll drop in a “she smiled” as if words can be smiled.  Here’s an example:

“How was your date?” Marcy asked.

“It was awful,” Niki cringed.

“Why?”

“Chad is an accountant,” she frowned.  “You know I hate accountants.”

“Hate is a pretty strong word,” Marcy smiled, knowing Niki loved to over-dramatize everything.

At first glance, the errors might not be very noticeable.  It reads well and we get some insight into Niki and Marcy’s reactions.

Let me ask you this, can you cringe words?  Can you frown them?  Can you smile words?  If you figure out how to do so, then please let me know.  Until then, I will suggest the following changes:

“How was your date?” Marcy asked.

“It was awful.”  Niki cringed.

“Why?”

“Chad is an accountant.”  She frowned.  “You know I hate accountants.”

“Hate is a pretty strong word.”  Marcy smiled, knowing Niki loved to over-dramatize everything.

Notice the subtle differences?  It’s all about the punctuation.  Look at the new version of the second line.  See the period at the end of the spoken words.  Since Niki can’t cringe words, she must first speak them (ending in a period) then she can cringe.

I hope this example helps illustrate how proper punctuation can right issues with unspoken interjections.

Do you have an example you would like to share?  Please leave a comment below.

In my next post, I’ll discuss the He Said, She Said Merry-go-round.

 

Karen BaneyBest-selling self-published author, Karen Baney, enjoys sharing information to help authors learn about the Business of Writing.  She holds a Masters of Business Administration from Arizona State University and has worked in various business related career fields for the past 20 years.  She writes Christian Historical Fiction and Contemporary Romance novels.  To learn more about her novels visit her website:  karenbaney.com.  Authors can find tips and information on self-publishing and marketing at:  www.myauthorservices.com.

Karen and her husband, Jim, also run several online businesses.  They make their home in Gilbert, AZ, with their two dogs.

Her latest book, 10 Keys to eBook Marketing Success, is now available on Amazon.

Connect with Karen on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+.